new blog home

If you missed my last post, and are craving  a Love Your Life fix  – never fear!

I have moved homes, so simply head on over to the new website – www.love-your-life.com.au

My blog will now live there.

If you would like to follow my blog, you can subscribe through the website. You will receive an email notification direct to your inbox when a new blog is posted.

You can also follow the action on the Love Your Life facebook page.

Thanks for following me, I hope you like the new site!

Love Julia

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new website is live!

Hello wonderful readers,

I have some very exciting news to share with you – I have officially launched the Love Your Life website!

www.love-your-life.com.au

My blog will now live in this new home.

If you are not already ‘following’ my blog, but would like to continue reading – please head on over to the love your life website so you can subscribe to the blog. You will receive an email notification direct to your inbox when a new blog is posted.

For anyone that is already following me – to make this transition smoother, I have taken the liberty of entering your email address in the subscription box on the website, so you will shortly receive a verification email from ‘FeedBurner’ requiring your approval. Easy Peasy.

You can also follow the action on the Love Your Life facebook page.

Thanks for following me, I hope you like the new site!

Julia

the paradox of our time

I find travelling the perfect time for reflection.

With travel comes time away from my every-day life, time to just be. No commitments, no appointments, nowhere to rush to, or work to get done. It’s a golden time that we don’t often get in our busy daily lives.

You may have already read the piece below floating around in cyber-space, but I encourage you to re-read it. See what fresh new perspectives come to you today. I have been thinking about many of these aspects since being away, and wanted to share it with you . . .

“The paradox of our time in history is that
We have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less. We buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;
We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired,
read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We’ve added years to life, not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space.
We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We write more, but learn less.
We build more computers
to hold more information
to produce more copies than ever,
but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion;
tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce;
of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality,
one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.”

Every time I read this, it causes me to stop and think about my lifestyle, and the way our society has evolved.

We have greater progression, more information and faster technology – all designed to improve our lives. Yet while we receive many benefits, what are the hidden costs we pay?

I certainly identify some of my personal demons in this piece, and as I read it, I am reminded to slow down and take note of the important things in my life – my values, the person I choose to be, time in nature, my health (both physical and mental), and my relationships with others.

I am also reminded of my purpose behind the work that I do – by this line in particular: ‘We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.’

What do these words highlight for you?

What are some of the high costs you pay for the way you choose to live? Think about areas of your life you are neglecting, or things you are currently missing out on.

Perhaps from this, you realise there is a shift you need to make in your current lifestyle.  What are you committed to changing?

And from this shift, what are the benefits you look forward to reaping?

What do you have to gain by letting something go?

slowdownlife

home sweet home

I am Australia bound in T-minus 2 days!

It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen my loved ones – the longest time I’ve ever been away. It’s certainly been hard at times – home-sickness has definitely reared its uncomfortable head. But for the most part, it’s been fantastic, and I’m extremely proud of how well I’ve adapted to life abroad. But it’s time, it’s time to pay a visit to my roots.

How blessed I am to have a home that makes being away from so tainted. I know how lucky I am.

travel

I will be home for a month, and when I return to Canada I will be relocating to Vancouver to pursue my career goals.

I’m excited to head home, but it also doesn’t yet feel real. I had my final day at work today, and saying my goodbyes to the team felt so surreal. Even as I write this, my place is filled with half-packed boxes & suitcases, but it still doesn’t feel like I’m really leaving. This always happens to me with big changes; it doesn’t sink in until after the fact. I know when my plane takes off on Tuesday afternoon that I will be overwhelmed with emotion, but for now I’m feeling a slight detachment, kind of like I’m watching from the outside in.

I am returning to the motherland to attend my best friend’s wedding.  I’m so excited for that, what an incredible celebration it’s going to be!  I’m also feeling anxious, as a close relative has just been in hospital for a biopsy and we are awaiting the results. This came as a real shock to us, I guess you can never prepare for these things. It’s so strange to feel two opposing emotions at the same time. But they both stem from love, which I guess makes sense that they can be experienced simultaneously.

I cant wait to be amongst the familiar – people and surroundings. To share home cooked meals with family, to smell the eucalyptus, to see the ocean again, to walk along the beach and feel the sand between my toes. But most of all I cant wait to hug my friends and family so tight – that’s what I’m really going home for.

This trip for me is all about ~

  • togetherness with loved ones
  • re-connecting to my roots
  • celebration
  • long walks, long chats, and extra long embraces
  • catching up with old friends
  • enjoying the moment
  • gratitude

I know as soon as I arrive home that I will be grounded. Though in these final days before I leave, it’s going to be a struggle to stay present. My mind constantly wanders from such highs to lows – sometimes in the same breath. Excitement and anticipation are juxtaposed with anxiety and worry. It’s been a bizarre experience for me.

I need to ground myself, and make the most of my final days in my beautiful mountain town.

I’m just glad that in a few short days I will be where I need to be right now, home.

Now all I need to do is click my heels together three times . . .

There’s no place like home . . . there’s no place like home . . . there’s no place like home. . .

“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

suitcase

your legacy

What is your legacy?

What are you leaving behind in your wake?

“Legacy is the story of one person’s spirit inscribed on another person’s soul.”

I am leaving my beautiful lululemon team here in Whistler to pursue my next career goals. It’s been a bittersweet time of late. This team has supported and nurtured my growth and development, and is no doubt the reason I am now pursuing bigger, loftier goals. But more than that, since being away from home, this team has become like a true family to me.

Last night in our staff meeting, I received the most beautiful parting gift – A bound copy of everyone’s goal sheets that I helped contribute to through my coaching. The note on the front page read –

“Thank you for always taking the time to make sure we are living in a life we LOVE. We will miss you so much. You truly elevate the world of each and every person you touch. You have left a beautiful legacy. We love you.”

My heart felt like it would burst.

Up until this point I had spent some time thinking about what I wanted my legacy to be – but this was the first time I witnessed it in action. The power of acknowledgement is amazing. What an absolutely flooring experience.

Every single one of us leaves a legacy.

Your very existence has an impact on the world – whether you intend it or not. So, how do you want to be remembered?

Often we don’t realise our legacy, as it’s the impact we have on people when we leave the room, or when we’re away from people, and too often than not,  when we’re gone from this world for good.

It’s clear to see the impact we have on people while we are still there, in the moment  – but what are the lingering effects that we leave behind?

Eulogies are all about legacies – summing up your life’s beliefs, actions, connections and contributions. They are always magical, inspirational messages – but I’m sure many people never actually sit down and think about their legacy. Yet we get to choose, every second of every day, what legacy we want to create.

It’s our responsibility to make sure we are living this legacy.

responsibleenergy

Ask yourself, “If I died today . . .”

  • What would I want people to say about me?
  • How have I helped other people?
  • Have I done my best, given my all?
  • Did my life have meaning and purpose?

You want to make sure your responses to these questions are authentic to you. Not what you think you should say, or what other’s expect you to say – but what truly resonates within your own body.

Be true to yourself. Use your intuition, it will guide you.

“Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.”  – Bill Graham

After some thought, I think I have settled on the definition for my legacy:

My legacy is to leave others more in love with their life for having known me. Put simply – my legacy is to elevate people’s lives.

Working towards a legacy keeps us motivated and performing at our best. It gives us access to our very best selves, giving a higher purpose to our life and work.

Above all, it helps you share the fullest of what you are.

How do you want to be remembered?

legacy

slow soulful sunday

Its time for me to slow down.

It’s been a super busy summer, and now the change of seasons brings us time to reflect, to take stock, and to nurture ourselves.

I am spending today wearing my cozy jumper, listening to the rain on the roof, writing, sipping hot tea, listening to music, wearing my big wool socks and curling up with my book.

It’s a day of feeding my soul.

The only thing on my to-do list? A full body massage.

Wonderful.

hottea

How are you spending your day?

Ask yourself – Do you need to be energised, or maybe, it’s time to wind down and relax?

Slow down, happiness is trying to catch you.

If you’ve been rushing through life lately, here’s a beautiful little reminder to slow down . . .

SLOW DANCE ~ David L. Weatherford

Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down. Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?

When you ask: How are you? Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores running through your head?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste, not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die

Cause you never had time to call and say, ‘Hi’?

You’d better slow down. Don’t dance so fast.

Time is short. The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,

It is like an unopened gift thrown away.

Life is not a race. Do take it slower.

Hear the music

Before the song is over.

slowdown

who fuels you?

Do you realise how powerful your words of encouragement are?

Why is it that we hang onto negative comments, or constructive feedback so much tighter than we do positive, kind words?

I can bring to mind within seconds any comments that have been critical, constructive or downright hurtful – yet ask me to list all the wonderful, positive affirmations that I have received over the years and I’d have to really rummage around to find these buried deep in the recesses of my memory bank.

Most people I coach are exactly the same. When asked what they are great at, what they do best in the world – the answers trickle in slowly and cautiously, like pulling teeth. Yet when I ask people to step outside of themselves, and think about what other people would say; what they are often complimented on, what people rely on them for, what their friends or family would say they are great at – it becomes so much easier to rattle off their strengths.

Why do we do this?!

Perhaps it’s a fear of looking full of ourselves, or that we will seem too ego driven.

Or perhaps we are better at acknowledging the greatness in others, ahead of the greatness in ourselves.

So I shared with you previously how a year ago I took the plunge, and moved to the other side of the world. What i didn’t tell you, was the support network that gave me the courage to leap into the unknown.

I am blessed to come from one of the most nurturing families on earth. As the years go by, I am feeling more and more grateful. I have only been met with possibility, love, support and encouragement from all of them, and this was so evident when I made the decision to move overseas. My chosen people, my “sista’s from anotha mista” are also responsible for giving me the strength and belief in myself that made this scary big move possible.

These people really did fuel me on my adventure.

I took three pieces of gold with me onto the plane that day. Three handwritten letters, from my twin sister, and my two best friends.

I knew it was going to be one of those ugly cry moments when I finally read them.  As I sat on the plane on the third leg of my epic flight, I finally felt ready to open them. At the risk of sounding like I’m tooting my own horn, I want to share some excerpts from these letters with you. In doing so I hope to highlight how important our relationships are with each other, and the power that we all have in supporting those we love:

  • “If there were to be anyone taking a trip like this with such an open mind, heart and determination to explore the world – it would be you. With your passion for adventure, optimistic attitude and zest for life, only time will tell what magical knowledge, experience, and people you will meet along the way . . . you are a gift to this world and it is waiting for you to experience it all.”
  • “Wishing you the most fun filled, adventurous and life changing trip! Smile, dance, sing and enjoy every single day of your amazing adventure! I’ll be there with you in spirit!! I’ll miss you madly and be thinking of you constantly.”
  • “You have such a power Jules, a spiritual energy that not many people posses, and I hope you harness that super power in every situation going forward because your unique instincts will only propel you to your amazing fate.”

I still get choked up when I think of the love, the encouragement and the unwavering belief in me they had.

They believed in my vision more than I did – that’s an incredible thing to feel. Their inspiring words empowered me and reinforced why I was on this journey. My head space went from one of anxiety and fear of the unknown, to one of quiet confidence and a deep belief that everything would be ok, because I was strong, capable and deserving.

I cannot tell you what that support meant to me sitting on an airplane headed to a foreign land. Their love gave me the courage to leap into the new chapter of my life.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to acknowledge other people. Never underestimate the role this encouragement plays in shaping those around us. It fuels, gives strength, lights fire and fosters belief.

“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

We assume that others know the greatness that lies within them, but we all need constant reminders. Often it’s as simple as  holding up a mirror just so others can see how wonderful they truly are.

We are not islands.

We all need to relate to others, to feel connected, and most of all – to feel LOVED.

Thank you to all my energy sources, you know who you are.

Who can you fuel today?

youthinkyourenot

women’s liberation?

Watch out, I’m about to drop the dirty ‘F’ bomb . . . Feminism.

I recently finished an insightful book by Sheryl Sandberg, the COO of Facebook, titled “Lean In. Women, work and the will to lead.” I couldn’t put it down.

Below are some of the shocking statistics that were revealed – try to read them without dropping your jaw:

  • There are 4.4 million women and girls worldwide still trapped in the sex trade.
  • 30 years after women became 50% of the college graduates in the USA, men still hold the vast majority of leadership positions in government and industry.
  • Success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. ie/ When a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. When a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.
  • Women still do the vast majority of childcare. As a result, becoming a parent decreases workforce participation for women but not men. 43% of highly qualified women with children are leaving careers.
  • When a husband and wife both are employed full-time, the mother does 40% more child care and about 30% more housework than the father.
  • Gender bias influences how we view performance and typically raises our assessment of men, while lowering our assessment of women.

Let that soak in for a minute. . . Scary huh.

How have we come so far since the women’s rights movement, yet still be so far behind true equality?

I guess I was surprised by these statistics as I have always had strong female role models in my life. I was bought up to believe that I could achieve anything my heart desired, that nothing was out of my reach. My mother worked full-time in law for 30 years, my Nana is independent and determined, I have always had female managers and department heads, plus I have worked in female dominated industries my whole life. Working with lululemon, I am continually surrounded by inspiring, entrepreneurial women who stand for each other’s greatness. So for me, becoming privy to these facts was a major wake up call to the true state of affairs.

The word feminism has received a bad wrap over the years, and now has such a negative connotation. It’s a shame that this term has been muddied and taken away from its true meaning. Feminism needn’t equate to man-hating, bra-burning lesbians anymore.  It’s all about deconstructing and ‘dusting off’ this world to re-define it; a recent study revealed that only 24% of the women in the United States say that they consider themselves feminists. Yet when offered a more specific definition of feminism – “A feminist is someone who believes in social, political, and economic equality of the sexes” – the percentage rises to 65%. Hallelujah, that’s a step in the right direction.

“When the suffragette’s marched in the streets, they envisioned a world where men and women would be truly equal. A century later, we are still squinting, trying to bring that vision into focus.”

– Sheryl Sandberg

10.jpg.CROP_.article920-large   1911-suffragettes

“Women have been subtly striving all our lives to prove that we have picked up the torch that feminism provided. That we haven’t failed the mothers and grandmothers that made our ambitions possible. And yet, in a deep and profound way, we are failing. Because feminism wasn’t supposed to make us feel guilty, or prod us into constant competition over who is raising children better, organising more co-operative marriage, or getting less sleep. It was supposed to make us free – to give us not only choices but the ability to make these choices without constantly feeling that we’d somehow gotten it wrong” – Debora Spar.

So then, how and why has our progress stopped?

Beyoncé says women run the world, however the blunt truth is that it is men. “Out of 195 independent countries in the world, just 17 are led by women. Women hold only 20% of seats in parliaments globally. A meager 21 of the Fortune 500 CEO’s are women. Women hold about 14% of executive positions, 17% of board seats, and constitute 18% of our elected congressional officials. (The gap is even worse for women of colour, who hold just 4%, 3% and 5% respectively.)”

“This means that when it comes to making the decisions that most affect our world, women’s voices are not heard equally.”

Sandberg explains that it is not only society that is holding women back, we are also holding ourselves back – “In addition to the external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within our selves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back (from our career) when we should be leaning in. We internalise the negative messages we get throughout our lives – the messages that say its wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. We lower our expectations of what we can achieve.”

Communication is the key to change, “We need to disrupt the status quo. Staying quiet and fitting in may have been all the first generations of women could do; in some cases, it might still be the safest path. But this strategy is not paying off for women as a group. Instead, we need to speak out, identify the barriers that are holding women back, and find solutions.”

“Talking can transform minds, which can transform behaviours, which can transform institutions.”

The majority of people I coach are women, so this research has really opened up my eyes to how much more support, encouragement and outright cheer-leading the women of today need. It’s time to amp up this conversation, and for us to champion and promote our fellow women.

As a life coach, I don’t necessarily have power to change our cultural and institutional inequality; the sex trade, the stereo types, gender biases, salary differences, unequal child care policies – but I do get to have a big impact on individuals; the way they see themselves and their place in the world.

My job, more than ever, is about empowering women to live a life they love – to clear self-limiting beliefs, to encourage them to dream big, to jump onto the playing field and achieve their full potential.

I love that Sandberg isn’t advocating that every woman should want to be head of state, or a CEO, but rather – whatever our goals are, to pursue them with gusto. To fulfil our potential.

We all are the hope for an equal world. It begins with finding something you love and doing it with all your heart.

Ask yourself, what would i do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it.

So am I a feminist? You’re damn right I am.

Social gains are never handed out.

They must be seized.

images

Click here to view Sandberg’s inspiring TEDTalk on “Why we have too few women’s leaders”. 

taking the plunge

It’s been over a year since I made one of the scariest decisions of my life.

I bought a one way ticket and took a plane to the other side of the world.

My plan was to travel through South America for 3 months, and then go and live in Canada. Beyond that, it was very vague.

‘How long was I going to be away for?’ No idea. ‘Did I know anyone on the other side?’ Nope. ‘Can I speak Spanish?’ err Si? ‘Where will I live?’ Umm I’m not sure. ‘What will you do for work?’ I haven’t organised anything yet. .

These were questions not only running through my own mind, but ones asked by people who were generally concerned for me. For a person that generally has control in their life, not knowing the answers was truly terrifying for me!

I still remember heading to the airport in the early hours of the morning. I was so nervous that I barely slept a wink the night before, and I couldn’t even speak on the drive out there. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like it, I was completely consumed with fear. I had an awful dread in the pit of my stomach and was totally caught up in my own worry of the unknown.

As I said goodbye to my nearest and dearest at the airport, part of me was asking myself ‘What the hell am I doing?!’ ‘Why am I leaving these beautiful people behind?’ ‘My life is really good here!’ ‘What if I fail?’.  .  It’s like I floated up out of my body and looked down on the situation. Here I was about to leave my comfortable life behind, to venture out into the unknown. Was I making the right decision?

And then I remembered the quote that fuelled this adventure. The one that my dear colleagues wrote in a travel journal for me –

marktwainquote

Oh yeah, that’s why I am doing this! I had been feeling uninspired, bored and listless for the past few months, I knew something had to shift. It was time for a BIG life change.

I looked around me and saw people buying houses, getting engaged, having babies, tying the knot – and I was incredibly happy for them, yet as much as I wanted those things, I knew that it wasn’t yet my time. That was a hard thing to grasp, because most things that I had wanted in my life up until this point I had been able to go and get.

I got caught up comparing myself to others, which lead to thinking of all the things I didn’t have. I sat in a place of missing out, and that only made me feel incomplete.

Then one day I decided enough is enough. I no longer want to feel this way. I have the power to choose something else. To chose adventure, challenge, fulfilment – to choose my unique life.

I get to create my life.

I started to shift my focus to what i did have. As soon as I did this, my whole outlook changed – I began to look at my situation as a wonderful opportunity. I had no partner, no mortgage, no kids, no pets – no ties or responsibilities whatsoever! I had the novel realisation that this was actually a good thing. Why not take advantage of the situation, and use my freedom? This chance may not come around a second time.

It had always been a goal of mine to live in another country at some point in my life, but I just had never got around to actually doing it. The timing was never right, I was caught up in my career, or in a relationship, or saving money (which ironically helped fund this trip!). I thought, well if not now, then when? I was waiting for some illusive moment that may never arise.

Time was ticking and running out to be eligible for a working visa in Canada, so the decision to leave was almost made for me. Which was great as it meant I didn’t have to think too much about it. (Remember hesitation is devastation!).

I’ve now been living overseas for over a year, and what an incredible journey it’s been.

I’ve seen so much beauty in the world, both in nature and in people. My travels have been even better than I had imagined – not even in my wildest dreams could I have predicted some of the incredible experiences I’ve been lucky enough to have.

I focused on having fun, and living in the moment for the first time in a very long time.

It was exactly what my soul needed. I am so glad I listened to the faint murmur in my heart, the one that was yearning for something more.

What are the niggling little voices inside your head asking for?

What does your heart truly wish for?

What plunge are you ready to take in your life?

Perhaps it’s your time to throw away the bow lines, and sail away from your safe harbour.

EXPLORE.   DREAM.   DISCOVER.

you are someone’s everything

I recently minded my girlfriends animals for her while her and her husband holidayed in France.

I haven’t experienced anything or anyone being so dependant on me before. Hank and Charlie relied on me for their food, water, walks and love. I was their everything. They were all alone while I was off at work, and just me walking up the stairs at night brought them so much joy! Such simple pleasures.

They slept in my bed, sat on my yoga mat (see below!), curled up in my lap while I was on the computer and watched every single move I made. They slept when I slept, and woke when I woke (fortunately!).

hank

I haven’t yet experienced motherhood, so for me this was the closest thing.

It got me thinking, who are the people in my life that are my everything? Those people that shape who I am as a person. The ones I rely on and build my life around. Maybe I don’t rely on them to put food in my dish everyday, but never the less, they are my life support.

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” – Bill Wilson

I am lucky enough to have a whole network of these people. It starts with my ‘core people’, my family – both blood and chosen. Then like a sunbeam radiates out to my friends, co-workers and colleagues.

My support network feels like a glowing sun fuelled by a burning dense core.

My core people support me, listen to me, encourage me, inspire me, challenge me and most importantly give me unconditional love. It’s this love that is the real life support. I can feed myself, but I can’t always love myself as much as they love me.

It’s this love that gives me the confidence to go out into the world and live big every day.

You are someone’s everything.

Who are you choosing to be for those people?

How are you supporting them?

What one thing could you do that would strengthen that bond the most? That would make the biggest impact on them and/or your relationship?

Make sure you go and do it today.

onepersonsworld

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How good are fresh market blooms? (Specially natives). Such a simple & beautiful act of self love. 💕 The door obsession continues . . . Little rays of sunshine within this beautiful ancient Prague door ☀️😍 When you finally get over yourself; the bad habits, the limiting beliefs, the way critical self talk, the broken promises - that's when you're truly ready for change. 
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Cannot wait to dive deep into the Buddha's teachings . . . I think he'll have a thing or two to teach me 😉 Feels a bit like that today 🙄The sun is calling me outside, and the paddle board is strapped to the roof . . . Off I go for some ocean meditation ! 🌊
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