home sweet home

I am Australia bound in T-minus 2 days!

It’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen my loved ones – the longest time I’ve ever been away. It’s certainly been hard at times – home-sickness has definitely reared its uncomfortable head. But for the most part, it’s been fantastic, and I’m extremely proud of how well I’ve adapted to life abroad. But it’s time, it’s time to pay a visit to my roots.

How blessed I am to have a home that makes being away from so tainted. I know how lucky I am.

travel

I will be home for a month, and when I return to Canada I will be relocating to Vancouver to pursue my career goals.

I’m excited to head home, but it also doesn’t yet feel real. I had my final day at work today, and saying my goodbyes to the team felt so surreal. Even as I write this, my place is filled with half-packed boxes & suitcases, but it still doesn’t feel like I’m really leaving. This always happens to me with big changes; it doesn’t sink in until after the fact. I know when my plane takes off on Tuesday afternoon that I will be overwhelmed with emotion, but for now I’m feeling a slight detachment, kind of like I’m watching from the outside in.

I am returning to the motherland to attend my best friend’s wedding.  I’m so excited for that, what an incredible celebration it’s going to be!  I’m also feeling anxious, as a close relative has just been in hospital for a biopsy and we are awaiting the results. This came as a real shock to us, I guess you can never prepare for these things. It’s so strange to feel two opposing emotions at the same time. But they both stem from love, which I guess makes sense that they can be experienced simultaneously.

I cant wait to be amongst the familiar – people and surroundings. To share home cooked meals with family, to smell the eucalyptus, to see the ocean again, to walk along the beach and feel the sand between my toes. But most of all I cant wait to hug my friends and family so tight – that’s what I’m really going home for.

This trip for me is all about ~

  • togetherness with loved ones
  • re-connecting to my roots
  • celebration
  • long walks, long chats, and extra long embraces
  • catching up with old friends
  • enjoying the moment
  • gratitude

I know as soon as I arrive home that I will be grounded. Though in these final days before I leave, it’s going to be a struggle to stay present. My mind constantly wanders from such highs to lows – sometimes in the same breath. Excitement and anticipation are juxtaposed with anxiety and worry. It’s been a bizarre experience for me.

I need to ground myself, and make the most of my final days in my beautiful mountain town.

I’m just glad that in a few short days I will be where I need to be right now, home.

Now all I need to do is click my heels together three times . . .

There’s no place like home . . . there’s no place like home . . . there’s no place like home. . .

“Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

suitcase

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taking the plunge

It’s been over a year since I made one of the scariest decisions of my life.

I bought a one way ticket and took a plane to the other side of the world.

My plan was to travel through South America for 3 months, and then go and live in Canada. Beyond that, it was very vague.

‘How long was I going to be away for?’ No idea. ‘Did I know anyone on the other side?’ Nope. ‘Can I speak Spanish?’ err Si? ‘Where will I live?’ Umm I’m not sure. ‘What will you do for work?’ I haven’t organised anything yet. .

These were questions not only running through my own mind, but ones asked by people who were generally concerned for me. For a person that generally has control in their life, not knowing the answers was truly terrifying for me!

I still remember heading to the airport in the early hours of the morning. I was so nervous that I barely slept a wink the night before, and I couldn’t even speak on the drive out there. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like it, I was completely consumed with fear. I had an awful dread in the pit of my stomach and was totally caught up in my own worry of the unknown.

As I said goodbye to my nearest and dearest at the airport, part of me was asking myself ‘What the hell am I doing?!’ ‘Why am I leaving these beautiful people behind?’ ‘My life is really good here!’ ‘What if I fail?’.  .  It’s like I floated up out of my body and looked down on the situation. Here I was about to leave my comfortable life behind, to venture out into the unknown. Was I making the right decision?

And then I remembered the quote that fuelled this adventure. The one that my dear colleagues wrote in a travel journal for me –

marktwainquote

Oh yeah, that’s why I am doing this! I had been feeling uninspired, bored and listless for the past few months, I knew something had to shift. It was time for a BIG life change.

I looked around me and saw people buying houses, getting engaged, having babies, tying the knot – and I was incredibly happy for them, yet as much as I wanted those things, I knew that it wasn’t yet my time. That was a hard thing to grasp, because most things that I had wanted in my life up until this point I had been able to go and get.

I got caught up comparing myself to others, which lead to thinking of all the things I didn’t have. I sat in a place of missing out, and that only made me feel incomplete.

Then one day I decided enough is enough. I no longer want to feel this way. I have the power to choose something else. To chose adventure, challenge, fulfilment – to choose my unique life.

I get to create my life.

I started to shift my focus to what i did have. As soon as I did this, my whole outlook changed – I began to look at my situation as a wonderful opportunity. I had no partner, no mortgage, no kids, no pets – no ties or responsibilities whatsoever! I had the novel realisation that this was actually a good thing. Why not take advantage of the situation, and use my freedom? This chance may not come around a second time.

It had always been a goal of mine to live in another country at some point in my life, but I just had never got around to actually doing it. The timing was never right, I was caught up in my career, or in a relationship, or saving money (which ironically helped fund this trip!). I thought, well if not now, then when? I was waiting for some illusive moment that may never arise.

Time was ticking and running out to be eligible for a working visa in Canada, so the decision to leave was almost made for me. Which was great as it meant I didn’t have to think too much about it. (Remember hesitation is devastation!).

I’ve now been living overseas for over a year, and what an incredible journey it’s been.

I’ve seen so much beauty in the world, both in nature and in people. My travels have been even better than I had imagined – not even in my wildest dreams could I have predicted some of the incredible experiences I’ve been lucky enough to have.

I focused on having fun, and living in the moment for the first time in a very long time.

It was exactly what my soul needed. I am so glad I listened to the faint murmur in my heart, the one that was yearning for something more.

What are the niggling little voices inside your head asking for?

What does your heart truly wish for?

What plunge are you ready to take in your life?

Perhaps it’s your time to throw away the bow lines, and sail away from your safe harbour.

EXPLORE.   DREAM.   DISCOVER.

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